I managed to avoid a great party last night with people I really like. In the end I didn't really need to hide under the duvet. I am an idiot. I am bad at parties in that, given enough energy, I am brilliant at smalltalk. This means I have very trivial conversations with everyone, while my friends form lasting bonds with total strangers by virtue of their inability to talk superficial crap forcing their hand into saying something worthwhile. "I just lost a lung" is a much better icebreaker than "how long have you lived in London?". Time to get smoking.
Back to work tomorrow and I know that a world of shit is going to greet me. Having had over two weeks off over Christmas, I'm not sure that I can even rememember the vaguest detail about what my job involves. Let's hope that's the case and security frogmarch me from the building in order to enjoy the rest of the week in peace.
I'll 'fess up and admit I've been going through a lame creative crisis for last few months, pretty much thinking that my output to date is derivative, slight and worthless. You might think that this is lame because 1) it really isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things 2) I have nothing riding on its success or failure. You're wrong (again). 1) It's important to me, so fuck you. 2) see (1). Basically, if I am ever to be in a position where things do ride on it, I need to have succeeded in the first place, and that's something that I really want to make happen. I do want to be doing music professionally, or at least producing music which people care about and which gets some kind of critical recognition. That's pretty much my dream. So that's why it's so important.
Now, the simple solution is just to write some great stuff, in the same way that the solution to having a stressful PhD is to write up or the solution to having cancer is to get better. Therein lies the rub. So as an interim project, I'm going to write an EP. Hopefully this will give me a bit more of a focus for writing, it will be a bit more coherent and sound more like an EP I wrote rather than a covers medley. The pitfalls are now making an EP I can't play live or which is nothing like what I want to do in the future.
More despatches from this gripping story as it breaks.
Back to work tomorrow and I know that a world of shit is going to greet me. Having had over two weeks off over Christmas, I'm not sure that I can even rememember the vaguest detail about what my job involves. Let's hope that's the case and security frogmarch me from the building in order to enjoy the rest of the week in peace.
I'll 'fess up and admit I've been going through a lame creative crisis for last few months, pretty much thinking that my output to date is derivative, slight and worthless. You might think that this is lame because 1) it really isn't all that important in the grand scheme of things 2) I have nothing riding on its success or failure. You're wrong (again). 1) It's important to me, so fuck you. 2) see (1). Basically, if I am ever to be in a position where things do ride on it, I need to have succeeded in the first place, and that's something that I really want to make happen. I do want to be doing music professionally, or at least producing music which people care about and which gets some kind of critical recognition. That's pretty much my dream. So that's why it's so important.
Now, the simple solution is just to write some great stuff, in the same way that the solution to having a stressful PhD is to write up or the solution to having cancer is to get better. Therein lies the rub. So as an interim project, I'm going to write an EP. Hopefully this will give me a bit more of a focus for writing, it will be a bit more coherent and sound more like an EP I wrote rather than a covers medley. The pitfalls are now making an EP I can't play live or which is nothing like what I want to do in the future.
More despatches from this gripping story as it breaks.
posted by Freshvictims at 1:28 PM
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