Hello all. I just had a lovely time in Brighton seeing some very lovely people who I don't see very often and probably think that I am a negligent absentee friend who is too busy freebasing crack with my trendy Shoreditch friends to see them, rather than the real reason which is I only leave the house to go to work or play gigs, the rest of the time being spent trying to write songs or watching 24, playing computer games and worrying about not writing any songs. As a result I have become an expert on weapons on modern warfare as well as the more mainstream interests of a songwriter. Maybe I can write a song that goes (to the tune of Hotel Yorba)

"The H&K mp5
with a closed-bolt position
Has a high degree of accuracy
This helps with its precision

An integral silencer
Helps you sneak up on the baddies
But it means that you must use
Subsonic ammunition

etc"

The following factors deter me from this path...

1. Association with Captain "Butcher of Bosnia" James Blunt (aka "The Blaptain"), the namechanging ex-killer singer-songwriter who only technically could be said to "sing" or "writes songs"
   
2. Small arms are responsible for so many deaths worldwide and are neither big nor clever
   
3. The nagging feeling that the modern pop song is not the idea vehicle for detailed technical information
4. The fact that it would be shit.

I am being made to go to a party and might have to go and lock myself down under my duvet for the duration.